Writing is therapy for me and I really feel as though I need it lately. Recently, I have learned a very difficult lesson. I have always put (what I thought to be) the best for other people before what is best for me. But, to my dismay, I realize that in the end, it does not get me anywhere. As heartbreaking and devastating as it is, it is time for me to turn over a new leaf and put myself FIRST.
Have you ever felt as though you can’t win? You try to protect the people you love and then everyone is mad at YOU? Not quite sure how it all came out to be this way. But, what I do know is that my intentions were nothing but good. And for that reason, I can sleep sound at night.
I guess when it really comes down to it, people change. No matter how hard you try, you can’t save someone, especially from themselves. It doesn’t matter how long you have known them, the love you have for them, the times you went to bat for them, or what you think they owe you. They will diminish it all if they want to.
So now I am left here. Forced to let go of the past, everything I held on to. Forced to move on, ready or not. Forced to convince myself it will go nowhere. I can’t put my well being and happiness on the back burner because someone has put themself in a position they can’t get out of easily. It’s done. It’s over. Now it’s time for me.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life…
