As I sit here at work, first thing in the morning, I begin to wonder how l ended up sitting here. I look around my office and I see degrees, certifications, licenses, and endless amounts of therapy materials. I can’t help but to contemplate just how I made it here, “real” life.
Until just recently, I have always identified myself as, strictly, a student. Constantly learning, taking on new clinic assignments, completing papers, presenting my caseloads, and meeting with professors and clinic supervisors. Days full of anxiety, worry, and anticipation. There were many days I would ask myself, ” what did I get myself into?”. There were also many days I wanted to walk away and chalk my failure up to the phrases “it just wasn’t for me”, “I just want to start my ‘real’ life and be done with this already”.
I struggled to find a balance between my personal life and school life. My personal life was overwhelmed with tragedies, uncertainties, and medical scares. Going home from school was an event I often dreaded. I just knew when I walked out the door of the Science/Tech building I was in for a night full of tears, pain, and words useless to others. No matter how much I pleaded with the people close to me and a being bigger than me, I could not find relief or an escape from the nightmare I was living. My mom’s health was in a downward spiral, as was my weight and energy.The pressure became too much to handle. I thought for sure I was never going to achieve the goal of being a SLP; that I was never going to get to live my “real” life.
Regardless to state, I achieved my goal. Blood, sweat, tears, and all. I sit here and look at my degree and can’t help but to feel a sense of pride. I pull kids for therapy and realize that being an SLP is way more than just a job or a career. It is my way of life. I am passionate about helping these lil ones, and feel accomplished when they succeed. This opportunity is bittersweet for me, I almost did not get here. I almost threw in the towel. I just wanted to start my ‘real’ life.
How do you define “real” life? Is it marriage and children? Is it being able to afford a mortgage? Is it paying bills and complaining about how expensive gas is? Is it telling young people how lucky they are to only be responsible for a car payment? Or, because they only work part time to go out on the weekends (starting Thursdays) and party til dawn? Is it going to Walmart, Home Depot, and food shopping on Saturdays? My idea of “real” life has changed drastically since I have entered into it.
“Real” life is a sense of accomplishment, success, and accountability. It is being happy about who you are, degree or not. It is unconditional love from family and friends. It is the ability to allow someone to hold your hand if you need it. It is ups and downs, twists and turns, a true roller coaster ride. It is smiling, laughing, and appreciating ones who are there for you when you are ready to hit rock bottom. It is finding things to be happy about, when it feels like giving up on life would be so much easier. It is taking on each day with an optimistic attitude. It is getting knocked down, getting up, shrugging it off, and moving on. It is taking responsibility for your actions. And overall, “real” life is being proud of your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, and making the best of every situation life throws at you.
My definition of “real” life may be different than the next. The past few years have shown me that “real” life is unpredictable. I found it important to look at the glass as half-full, and have enough faith in yourself to know that you would not be given anything you cannot handle. You may fall face first into the pavement, but you always have the ability to get up, get a bandaid, and wait for the next tackle. That’s “real” life.
